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What Love Isn’t

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
I Corinthians 13:4-7

While doing background research for another book in the I Choose! series, I had a chance to look at love from God’s perspective. From Genesis all the way to Revelation, the Lord’s care and compassion are evident in His interactions with humanity throughout history. I spent time pouring over portions of Scripture that specifically talk about love, including the famous 13th chapter of I Corinthians and its list of attributes. In I Choose Love! I decided to share these characteristics from a different viewpoint: what love isn’t! Here’s an excerpt from I Choose Love! that will explain my thoughts on the topic:

Love isn’t:

Joyful about failures
Accepting of defeat

Spend a few minutes looking over this list again. What can you take away from these attributes that describe what people shouldn’t be doing regarding love?

When I exchanged vows with my husband over thirty years ago, I had every intention of being a perfect, loving wife. I never imagined doing anything on the “isn’t list”—especially to the one I declared in front of God, family, and friends that I loved with all my heart. But guess what, I messed up—and not in one category, but in many! How did that happen? I’m flawed and weak, that’s how! Despite my best attempts to act otherwise, I make bad choices. That’s why I need God’s help on a daily basis to choose to love differently.

Over the years I’ve discovered that when I begin my day in prayer, I feel closer to God. I ask for His help, and, not too surprisingly, He gives it to me. When I spend time in His Word, I also get to know Him better, and I actually put into practice the things He has to say much more readily because those matters are fresh in my mind. What’s truly amazing is how much happier and satisfying life is when I choose to love God’s way.

And the love God gives me doesn’t just impact my marriage. It changes the way I interact with everyone in my life. He helps me love my family and friends differently, my neighbors differently, and even strangers I encounter throughout my day differently. I see life from a unique paradigm: God is love, and He wants me to love Him, others, and myself His way!

*You will find more about the amazing love God has for you detailed in Sonkist Ministries’ latest book, I Choose Love! It is available now on our website—and also in paperback or Kindle at!